As I turn 31, I started thinking about the growth I’ve done over the last year, and I wonder to myself: is there anything I learned that is worth sharing? I say that somewhat ironically, as I am writing in a blog that has the potential of having any quality of content imaginable. But, there are some fairly important ideas that have been the greatest points of growth for me, and I will discuss them here, so that anyone who is like me might see their own version of the truth in it and help them along their path of self discovery and developement.
1 – You are the only person responsible for your emotions.
I spent a long time in a relationship where neither of us were truly taking responsibility for our emotions, and as such, were constantly embattled, trying to force the other to take responsibility for the turmoil we felt on the inside. The longer it went on, the more I realized that it didn’t matter how much screaming was done, or how well I articulated my logic about how my anger or sadness was caused by another person, it was my responsibility to manage these emotions as they came up, and ultimately, to manage the triggers so that I can move towards stoicism. The further along I went in my emotional journey, it occurs to me that a lot of the pain I feel is so deeply engrained, and that the superficial triggers are not as important as the narratives running in my own mind that allow me to be so easily influenced by outside feedback.
2 – You are the only person responsible for your health.
I still don’t sleep particularly well. Sometimes I sleep through my alarms. Sometimes I skip workouts for days at a time, Sometimes I eat straight junk food. THESE ARE ALL MY RESPONSIBILITY. I have to be able to take full control of the things that I am able to control, and not even dare to blame some outside force for “preventing” me from doing what’s ultimately best for my physical and mental health.
3 – Your integrity is the foundation by which you will build yourself.
This is the idea that you are being honest about what your values and goals are. If you are willing to lie about what it is you intend to accomplish, you are going to have to lie about your accomplishments every step of the way. Choose to accurately convey your results, and to be transparent in your process.
4 – Modesty is a skill.
Along with your integrity, modesty is the ability to accurately assess your skill or competency in something. If you cannot be honest with yourself, you will find yourself either overexaggerating your talents, undervaluing your skillset, and also make it impossible to take a compliment/ constructive criticism in a useful way. You cannot grow when you cannot be objective.
5 – If you’re prepared, nothing surprises you.
This is essentially having every potential tool/skill set available to you in your current context in order to be ready for situations that arise. For me, it’s carrying a notebook, pen, flashlight, pocketknife, and multi-tool at all times to be prepared in a very general way, and having my lifetime’s worth of research and experience at my disposal to tackle everyday and certain uncommon challenges that may arise.