Rep

Human beings are social creatures. Short of trying to avoid all interactions with people that are not of sheer utility, at some point we have to put on a less prickly demeanor and go and navigate the world, filled with other people who may be just as worried as us, if not more worried about how they’re perceived. A reputation for being a good-natured person may increase one’s credibility in an argument, regardless of the accuracy and logical truth of it. The opposite may also be true. An individual who is well known to be provocative in their social interactions might be entirely dismissed, even if their information is rock solid. So, when we’re trying to cultivate the way we want to be seen by others, we might have to accept the simple truth that sometimes people just want to see you as an asshole, and nothing that you could possibly say will be persuasive enough for them to take you as credible.

It does bother me when that does happen. You might have been unfortunate to have met someone on a day where you were not doing particularly well, and you come off as a jerk. Perhaps now whenever you see that same person, everything you say will be seasoned by the negativity of that first encounter. This individual, if they have a reputation of being a gossip, may just persuade others that your credibility is questionable, if not completely inadmissible. What do you do then?

The easy answer, and the only one I ever really come to, is nothing.

You do nothing about that. You don’t beg for forgiveness. You don’t kiss ass. Just treat people with respect and move on. Something you absolutely should not do is decide to hate the other person by sheer virtue of… fairness, we might say. Sure, it might make you feel better for a moment, but anger rarely provides us with long term satisfaction, even if sufficient revenge is achieved.

Not everyone wants to agree with you, and not everyone has to. You’re not that important. Take yourself seriously and let that be enough. You don’t have to be a slave to other people’s opinions of you. How terrible of a life that would be.