I made a comment in the previous post about failure. We all fail. For me, if I was to ruminate about my day and think about all the stupid things I did or said, and contrast those to how I wanted things to turn out, then I would be like “DAMN, ALL I DO IS F*** UP. ALL DAY. EVERY DAY.” And then you see posts on social media about all these things that people do on a daily basis that turn out really great and you say
“They’re so freaking talented, I could never do anything like that.”
But no one does anything perfect the first time. Or maybe the second time. Or maybe the 100th time. You just do it a little better every time. Or, if I am to completely clear: you go into each subsequent attempt with the INTENT of being better next time.
Intent is a powerful word. I used to use it in a very specific way. As a weapon. Insisting that people who’ve “wronged” me (the quotes meaning that I was just offended, or things did not go my way) had only bad intent in what they were doing to me. So the only natural thing I would do in that undeveloped phase is to call out the villain on his/her/their bad intent, with MY INTENTION to have them agree with my statement of their ill-intent.
I say this in the past tense as if my brain doesn’t still inundate me with toxic thoughts about how terrible everyone is and how much of a victim I truly am, but if we truly think about our daily actions and how they affect people, or how our failures affect us, we don’t question our own intent. We are paragons of virtue and effective people, aren’t we? If something is perceived wrong or our attempts fail, then it must be someone else’s fault, right?
Probably not.
We’re all inherently selfish in some way. Especially if we think it’s everyone else’s responsibility to show up perfectly while we go about excusing or blame-casting away all of our f***ing mistakes. We are not perfect. Not in our actions, or in our intent. Ask yourself, though: Do I even know what my intent is most of the time?
Also, probably not.
But it’s never too late to start thinking about it!
We can be a little better each day. I can promise you that. If you look inside yourself and fight through the headache of knowing who you truly are, then you can start living intentionally, and you’ll realise that maybe, just maybe, that other people aren’t trying to hurt you, or piss you off, or annoy you. They may just not have their intent dialed in either.
Looking inside is a very introverted thing to do, and for our extraversion rewarding society, you won’t get a blue ribbon for being introspective, but it is so very much worth the effort to know yourself.
You’re going to fail at this. Over and over. Over and over again. While you fail, though, you’ll learn a little, and then you’ll learn a little more about yourself, and at one point, you’ll be able to take the lumps. You’ll be able to withstand the barrage of criticism and character assassination you may receive, because you’ll have a great idea of who you are and what you are here to do.
Know your intent. Fail gracefully. Apologize when needed. Fix what you can, and be patient with yourself while you do.