Part of my personal development is to just put my emotions aside and get things done, outside of my perfectionistic nature, which is very unproductive, being that I don’t start until I have an idea of what the perfect outcome is, and once I’ve started, not feeling complete until it has been done in the […]
As I turn 31, I started thinking about the growth I’ve done over the last year, and I wonder to myself: is there anything I learned that is worth sharing? I say that somewhat ironically, as I am writing in a blog that has the potential of having any quality of content imaginable. But, there […]
I have a narrative running in my head, that nothing I ever do will impact the world in a significant way. On a deeper level, this means for me that I will never impact the world in a significant way. One step further down from there, is an “understanding” that my existence is Not. Worth. […]
For all the work I’ve done, all the things I think that I know, I have a narrative running in my head that the only authentic emotion that I’m allowed to feel is an overwhelming feeling of deep sadness, of worthlessness, of hopelessness. It feels too damn real to ignore, and everything else feels like […]
Anyone who spends enough time with me is very familiar with my frequent existential crises. I spend a lot of time contemplating life, or rather, my own life, and whether or not it’s worth living. I think about a lot of mistakes I’ve made in my life and I frequently find myself in a mental […]
I had the opportunity to spend a quiet week alone (not including my cat) recently, and took the opportunity to try a little something radically different than the way I usually trudge through my weekdays. I chose to not distract myself with podcasts, or music, or getting stuck in my own thoughts. Instead, I chose […]
I have a history of becoming offended by things. The buzzword of the last few years is “triggered”, where something read online gives us that hit of negative emotion (anger, sadness, righteous indignance, and so on) and we feel compelled to blast that emotion outwards with the intent of making the other person “fix” it. […]
One of the most disempowering states of mind to live in is that of the victim. “Someone up there has it out for me.” “No matter what I do, something goes wrong.” “Everyone is an asshole and is trying to piss me off.” The last quote I mentioned is related to my previous posts, where […]
In the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I’m an ISTJ. ISTJs are not inherently very emotionally adept (having our introverted feeling function [Fi] at the tertiary level), but I like to think that I’ve put a lot of energy into developing my emotional intelligence, and as such, probably have more EQ than most of those of my […]
I made a comment in the previous post about failure. We all fail. For me, if I was to ruminate about my day and think about all the stupid things I did or said, and contrast those to how I wanted things to turn out, then I would be like “DAMN, ALL I DO IS […]